Should you intervene in your child's homework?

You provide a homework structure for you child;setting up a place and time to work, communicating your expectations, and being accessible to “give help on demand.”

But, when should you intervene when in your child's homework?  The when and how you should intervene depends on your intentions.
 
I want to help my child. 
 
If you intervene too much, you send an unconscious message to your child:  “You are helpless and need my help,” which research shows undercuts the child’s development of agency and independence.
 
But, my child works s-l-o-w-l-y.
         
It is faster to give your child the answer than to allow enough time for processing through to understanding.  Are you doing so because  it is 11 p.m. and the assignment is due in the morning? “Good enough” parenting permits you to expedite the process and give an answer or to in order to prevent your child's meltdown..
 
I want to teach my child problem solving strategies.  
 
Now, you are on to something!    One of my parents told her daughter, “Math is a puzzle to be solved, and life will give you lots of puzzles and problems to solve.”  Word problems are great opportunities to teach problem solving, even though children give them a bad rap.

You may borrow any of my time-tested techniques for solving word problems:
 
1.  First, you and your child read the problem aloud-- twice.  This models the importance of reading carefully as if you both are detectives.  When I teach, I ask students to ignore all references to numbers until they read it the second time. This reduces the load on their memory.
 
2.  If there is too much information,  draw up a table, a chart, or a picture to keep the information organized.
 
3.  If you are unsure about how to solve a problem, that's O.K.  Take your time and think out loud. This helps you arrive at a plan, shows children problem solving takes time, and becoming a Super Hero Problem Wizard takes time. .
 
4.  Finally, always check if the answer makes sense. Students are eager to find ANY answer, they don't care if it does not make sense.
 
When you understand your intentions when helping with homework, you will know if it is for a good reason or not.    

Warmly,
Tralee Johnson
Great Math Tutoring 

P.S. (This summer, 2015, I am offering my middle school Girls Go Figure! Workshop where motivated participants can experiment with various thinking strategies through games, movies, puzzlers, treasure hunts, reading, and good, old-fashioned problem solving.

The workshop is offered monthly this summer, Monday through Thursday, beginning June 15 through Jun 19,  from 9 am to Noon, or from 1 pm to 4 pm depending on the location (Berkeley/Oakland) for $275 (Early Bird Registration of $  250 closes on May 15, 2015). 

Copyright © 2015  Tralee Johnson, MA, MFT "Great Math Tutoring!"  All rights reserved. 
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Are you happy with the results?

The school year is half over.Did your child's first semester report card meet both of your standards?  If not, maybe it's time to sit down and write NEW goals with your child. However, without an action plan and action timeline, the goals could become untouched items on their "To Do List."

That's why teacher Nancy Berile teaches her students to write out action plans and action timelines in association with their goals. She says it provides them the "concrete steps to reach their goals, gives them hope, teaches them perseverance, and helps them practice skills they can use in college and in their careers."

You can help your child achieve these goals more effectively by inserting action plans and timelines. Here are Ms. Berile's recommendations for doing so.

1.  Each goal should be action oriented. Every sentence should begin with a verb, such as "Read 30 minutes after school," or "Review my notes every night."

2.  Sometimes a student's goal is grandiose or vague. It's up to you to help them chunk down big goals into bite-size mini-goals break down large goals  There is an ancient proverb; "How do you eat an elephant?" The answer:  "One forkful at a time."

3.  Be available to offer help if they can't reach their goal without you.  For example, if your child needs help in Pre-Calculus and you are a bit rusty in math, you might get a math tutor. 

4.  Periodically stop to re-assess that the student is on the right track.  As adults, we know the only constant in life is CHANGE. When life changes, your child's plan may need to change as well.  

5.  Write a timeline attached to the mini-goals. In my work as a learning coach, I notice that the clients who give themselves a deadline are more likely to achieve their goals. Don't believe me?  How does this date motivate you: April 15th? 6.  Finally, identify obstacles to success. Within each goal, a problem may be hidden which needs a solution before taking the next step.

In raising or teaching children, look for progress, not perfection. Celebrate all students' progress towards their goals and be sure to acknowledge the work they've done--even if they did not reach their ultimate goal.

If you or your child were not satisfied with their math progress or achievement, call my Google VoiceMail  (415) 508 - MATH to set up a consultation or a single appointment for a "tune-up."

Warmly,

Tralee Johnson

According to Dr. Daniel Siegel parents should "honor the teen's intense, emotional turn away from the safety of parents and toward novelty and peers. The brain is helping the teen get ready." 
We all know how teenagers shift their focus from family to their peers.  But, did you know there are biological parallels to these behavior inside the child's brain?  
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